My father is a great storyteller and every morning at the breakfast table, he usually shares life lessons and opinions. Sometimes his tales could be repetitive and slightly boring. Sometimes his stupid mistakes are funny and he would not admit his wrongs which also piss me off.
But one of the best tales I heard from him is “The big stone that wouldn’t budge; the story is this. In life you will always get the big stones blocking your path and you have to keep pushing and pushing until they tremble”. In my mind, I said, “wow, easier said than done, dad”. Because the stone in front of me was extremely big and I was in the dark for a couple of months.
I was moving this stone that would not budge. I left my job in the middle of a global pandemic (pretty stupid, I know) and got myself spiraled into a really dark hole. Combination of unemployment, anxiety, and pandemic. Every single day, the stone seemed to get bigger and the darkness around me seemed to get closer. All about to consume me. Rejections, rejections, rejections, and self-destructing thoughts.
The sleepless nights, weeks after weeks passing by, life passing by, regrets, could have been(s), should have been(s). Early mornings. Late nights. Those were the worst times.
And I took a big deep breath. Re-evaluate myself to see what I was missing.
I was missing discipline, patience, commitment, and the will to get my hands dirtier and grittier.
These things did not come at once. It was all moving parts that I sewed in ways that might seem unconventional to others but worked for me. And I pushed. This time with strategy and commitment. Every day, I pushed despite my scarred hands and at the same time making sure my mental health was in check.
After a while, it did paid off. My dad was right. The stone did budge. It budged slowly until it rolled down the hill. That was when I said, “damn dad, you were right”. What I needed was a new perspective, vulnerability, time, support, and patience.
